I watched a video today about a girl from Vietnam. She lives in a 9m2 room w/o a bathroom. To get clean she has to use the shared bathroom on the floor. There is no standard lock on the door, only a padlock. The door itself looked very old, a stronger kick would probably break it. The rent cost about 40$/mo. Yet, here I am complaining about work and how it does not fulfill me. I live in a big house with a garden. I even have a car (which I use once a month). I have everything I can realistically dream of. I guess that is the problem. My life is too good. There is no struggle. I believe humans are wired for struggle, that is what gives life meaning. That is why I artificially create my own struggles. At least that is the conclusion I've come to. My work actually isn't that bad. I work from home 4 days a week, 8 hours per day. There is only very little overtime - even that is only because I myself choose to work extra hours, my boss does not explicitly ask for it.
I've always dreamed of having my own business. But the truth is, I just don't have the balls for it. Having a business is hard. Stressful. I as a sensitive person would struggle. But, maybe that is exactly the struggle I lack! Well, maybe. The core issue is I just don't have any idea what business to launch in the first place. I've thought of this too many times during my 40+ years of life. I don't really like to deal with people. I feel better by my self. People tire me out. From time to time it is nice to have a good chat, still I prefer solitude. That is why I shifted into IT in my thirties in the first place. I also like coding and tech.
In my current job I get to work mostly alone. I test software. I often talk to the devs and other project team members but I have my autonomy. Nobody chases me. I just have to test everything by the end of each sprint, that is the sole requirement. Still, this is what bothers me:
The first point is the worst. Testing = verifying that the app behaves as it is supposed to. How can one know how an app should work when there is no spec to check? My company relies heavily on verbal communication. It is a small firm with little fluctuation - or rather it used to be! We are growing and things are getting really complicated. We need processes. But there is nobody really in charge. My boss focuses on project management, he does not care about operations. Until now things just somehow worked out on their own. But the team is growing and new people have no other way of gaining information about the project but to ask other team members. Not only that, I've been there for 2+ years now, still almost weekly I stumble upon a new area which I had no clue even existed! The project had been meanwhile going on for 20+ years, it's a monster! Yet, the project management just refuses to invest more time into proper documentation.
I believe the lack of automation time would get solved if I did not have to try to decipher the tiny bits and pieces of those shitty specs and ask around for information. Customer support sux, but now that I've written the above paragraph, it is not the main issue. The documentation is! I hate it when I don't know what to do! In real life I just can look up literally anything on the web. But how our custom made app works, only a few selected people know. Not even them any more. Memories fade, things get overcomplicated.
Recently I've identified an interesting thing that tires me out. Switching tasks. We use Teams for internal communication. I try to respond fast, as asking other people is very often the only way how to gain information about the product, and without an answer that particular person cannot move forward. Testing, however, requires prolonged time of uninterrupted focus. The constant switching takes its toll.
I've also noticed, that when things don't go along with my expectations, I get angry. Example: at the start of the day it looks like I will be having time for automation at least half of the day. But right then, some production issue pops up and I have to investigate. And I get mad. It's funny! I mean I get paid for my time to bring value to the company. A production incident is clearly a more pressing issue than automation, it makes perfect sense what has priority. Yet, I get emotional about it.
In my opinion the organization and operations handling is terrible. I've briefly mentioned this above already. It frustrates me. Especially when I think that a few simple changes would be enough to solve this. But what if I'm wrong? And what if I'm not! That is why I actively keep suggesting things that would help us ascend from the current chaos at least a bit. Then I get disappointed because nobody listens.
Pros:
Cons:
For now, the pros far outweigh the cons.