Today is a wonderful Saturday! I decided to add a diary to my site, which I've put offline recently as I did not really use it any more. I've tried to write an analogue dictionary, but my handwriting is just terrible. It always had been. I've tried several times to improve it, but... Too bad. Never mind, though! I consider myself an aesthetically inclined person, thus I decided to put my thoughts to an electronic form, at last! Good thing I can code! :) I enjoy creating sites. Coding is fun. Styling is too. It's the content I struggle with! I find it just so exhausting. I don't know why. While I'm able to focus for hours when coding, after a few paragraphs of text I feel drained. I guess I was always aiming for my content to be kind of aspiring for others. I won't care about that any more. I'm going to write my posts for my own sake. This will be my therapy. I don't care if ever someone else will read this.
I went for a jog earlier today to the river. It was fantastic! Great weather, a little windy, but it kept me from overheating. At the river it was shady because of the trees, but there was no wind any more => perfect balance! It felt very refreshing.
Something feels off in my life recently. I cannot quite pinpoint what it is. I was thinking it is my job. But, while running, I realized it may not be because of that. I've been single for a year now. And it is totally fine. I'm a lone wolf, one might say, thus solitude does not bother me at all. In fact, I feel more at peace since my breakup. No bickering about stupid stuff. No drama. I just do what I want. I like it that way. In my past relationships I always had to compromise. And somehow, in retrospective, I think I compromised more than my partners. I, as an introvert, need a lot of time alone to recharge. All my exes were extroverts. Extroverts need action. Quite a lot of it. Action exhausts me. I can't help it. I'm a homebody! Most days I don't even leave the house. There is everything I need here at home. Internet, kitchen, garden. Social interactions don't really fulfill me. At least that is what I thought. I get quite a bit of interaction during work. But I must admit, I miss intimacy. Not that much physically as emotionally. I have no friends. No close ones. I somehow cannot find anyone to connect with on a deeper level. Most people just can't do big-talk. And I can't stand small-talk!